24. “You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.”
25. “Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts.”Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear
26. “My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.”The Waterboy
27. “I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.”
28. “Marriage is like an unfunny, tense version of Everybody Loves Raymond , but it doesn’t last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.”Paul Rudd ), Knocked Up
29. “Being a mom means never buying the right amount of produce. Either everyone suddenly loves grapes and a week’s worth are eaten in one afternoon, or fruit flies are congregating around my rotting bananas.”
30. “I’m not insane. My mother had me tested.”The Big Bang Theory
31. “There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: babe, district attorney and Driving Miss Daisy .”The First Wives Club
32. Usher: “Bride or groom?”Four Weddings and a Funeral
33. Stan Fields: “Describe your perfect date.”April 25. Because it’s not too hot and not too cold. All you need is a light jacket.”Miss Congeniality
34. “I saw a study that said speaking in front of a crowd is considered the number one fear of the average person. Number two was death. This means to the average person, if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.”
35. Lucy: “There’s just two things keeping me from dancing in that show.”I Love Lucy
36. “Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.”
37. Coach: “How’s a beer sound, Norm?”Cheers
38. “If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised.” —Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase), National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
39. “There’s nothing simpler than avoiding people you don’t like. Avoiding one’s friends, that’s the real test.”Downton Abbey
40. “If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.”Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
41. “The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.”Steel Magnolias
42. “I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.”
43. “A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.”
44. “I’m not good at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”Friends
45. “Here’s all you have to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”George Carlin
46. “When I’m in social situations, I always hold onto my glass. It makes me feel comfortable and secure and I don’t have to shake hands.”Curb Your Enthusiasm
47. “As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.”
48. “That’s why New York is so great, though. Everyone you care about can despise you and you can still find a bagel so good, nothing else matters. Who needs love when you’ve got lox? They both stink, but only one tastes good.”The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
49. “Here’s some advice: At a job interview, tell them you’re willing to give 110 percent. Unless the job is a statistician.”
51. “I never forget a face—but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.”
